Comedy Sex

The Johnson Kids - Track 4

 

"Woah" Said the Johnson Kids to the underdog

They were bouncing down the street, yeah looking for a job

When a sweet little lady, she came over and said

"Dude I love your hat, may I have it from you please?"

Looking slightly shocked, I muttered "I have a disease!"

 

Do you, do you really do you have a disease?

Are you, are you sure or being un clean?

No little lady it's the truth truth truth

Everything I do is all for you!

 

"How can it be!?", you call out

You don't know my name

You're new to this route

Yeah I know but sure but yeah but sure but no

I looked in your eyes and saw summer snow

 

It's snowing right now

It's a sign of love

Take off your clothes and dance in the snow

Your indecision brings the best of me

 

EGG AND SOLDIERS DAY - Track 6

 

Egg Egg, Egg Egg, Egg and Soldiers Day

Sit and pray for Egg and Soldiers Day

Strips of Buttered love and a perfect ripe ripe one

From the chickens of azabarjan

Egg and Soldiers Day

 

Egg Cup Legs Up

Egg and Soldiers Day

 

With yoke and kisses and cups of tea

Egg Egg, Egg and Soldiers Day

Every Day it's Egg and Soldiers Day

 

Dirrty - TRACK 7

 

I love it when you come to me

You Love it when I come in your eye

I love it when you come to me

You Love it when I come in your eye

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

Let's hit the back seat or lick you in the front

Run your fingers through my hair

Kiss me on the cheek

What cheek? not those cheeks!

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

There's a sock on the floor

Crawling to the door

Laced with crusty love juice

It's got a mind of its own

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

What hand d'ya wipe your bum with?

I use toilet paper and stand

Clean front to back and wash my hands

Let's watch each other poo

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

I love it when you come to me

I love it when you come to me

You love it when I come in your eye

 

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

Oh Dirrty

 

 

Rohypnoln - TRACK 8

 

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

 

Looks like someones slipped you a little piece of sin

I wanna nurture you like you were my own

I'll take the sofa, you take the bed

Hoods up, eyes shut

It's a trick I've used before

 

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

 

A little reluctance, a little pause

I've got trust in my eyes

Lady I'm yours

Your vision is blurred

Intuition has failed

Take me by the hand, I'll lead the way

 

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

 

It's just a tag line to make you mine

It's just a tag line to make you mine

You're my prey, I don't know my name

I don't care to ask

These pills are insane

 

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

 

Take care of yourself out here on your own

Or you'll end up like this bag of bones

 

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

Hey there you don't look right

Come on back and stay the night

 

PLEASE DON'T WIPE IT ON ME - Track 9

 

Could be Ketchup, Mayonnaise or Thousand Island dressing

Throw an anchovy, pesto sauce or melted cheese

Creamy cream and cold baked beans

No no, no no

 

Please Don't Wipe it On me Baby

Please Don't Wipe it On me Baby

 

I might do a little Spaz, oh well

 

Please Don't Wipe It On Me Baby

 

I might Do a Little Spaz, Oh well

 

ever since a young age

Never been able to concentrate on saying grace

Swam in bubbles of gravy

Licourice on my face

 

Sorry if I am boring if we dine by moonlight at a lake

I try to encourage a food fight

Woah, pie in the face.

 

BEST OF ME - Track 10

 

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

 

Doing everything we can on our list

Every moment spent with you is bliss

Our lifes gonna be so good

Secret jokes not understood

We'll do what lovers should

Kiss and talk it's all so good

 

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

 

Sitting on my face and doing a fart

This was love right from the start

When you go, when you return

This loves jury's been ajourned

We're as one, so much fun

Let me play yeah with your bum

 

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

 

Call me Rupert, call me Gwin

Call me everything within

Write me letters, Write me notes

Go ahead, tell a joke

Happy now and happy still

You're my life, my sexy girl

 

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

You've got the best of me

Come on and take the rest of me

 

Dirty Little Bastards - Track 11

 

Twenty Four years ago today

A baby came out and wanted to play

A day that'll live in infamy

A boy named Midget, an angel you see

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Dances for us all, banging for free

 

Dirty Little Bastards, What

Dirty Little Bastards, Yeah

Dirty Little Bastards, what

Dirty LIttle Bastards, yeah

 

Picked up the phone, take me away

It's simple to say, I like to play

Teddy Rupskin, Optimus Prime

No interest in me, I made girls mine

Did it in the shed, Toilets at school

Lock of her hair, I wrapped my tool

Age of nine, I was no fool

My mother taught me well

 

Dirty Little Bastards, What

Dirty Little Bastards, Yeah

Dirty Little Bastards, What

Dirty Little Bastards, Yeah

 

 

 MESSIAH PLAY - TRACK

 

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Then I stole his stash

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Now I've got a rash

 

We are the demon fuckers

We are the prophet Busters

I am the resurrection and I am the light

Just ignore salvation baby

Hatreds on your side

 

Just as god created you

He also created me

To live and be a christian honey you have to forgive me

 

We are the demon fuckers

we are the prophet busters

We are the demon fuckers

we are the prophet busters

 

Last night I fucked Jesus

Then I stole his stash

Last night I fucked Jesus

Now I'm Trailer trash

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Now I'm crucified

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Now I'm Ostracised

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Now I'm castaside

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Last Night I fucked Jesus

 

It's not treason, rule nor reason

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Judgement day, Messiah play

Screw with the saviour, god incarnate

According to the gospel I'm like pilate

 

Last Night I fucked Jesus

Last Night I fucked Jesus

 

Holy Trinity, Holy trinity, Holy trinity

Three in a bed

Last supper, we're all dead

 

Last Night I fucked Jesus

 

 

Restricted 18 - Track

 

Sex education in a DVD

Explicit, exciting, amazing all free

9.99 P & P

Part two, restricted 18

For the beginner, experienced, advanced

Limited offer, order today

Prostate massager, mens pleasure wand

Larger penis, tighter thong

Firm and thick, twelve inches long

Real action fore skin

Six different spins

Latex body kit

 

A perfect pussy pussy kit

A perfect pussy pussy kit

 

Where can I buy some sex he said

Oh you want sex, you wanna get laid

Come with me ,I know a place

It's down by the river, over the bridge

The girls are ho,t in no way fridge

If you've got the green you can have the lot

Damn man you can have the lot

 

Ask for Sandra, she'll spank you hard

 

Oral spank me, Oral spank me

 

Fuck no, not in there

No oh no, it's not fair

Seductive dress, racey lacey

Private pleasures, I'll be Dick, you be Tracey

It's my fantasy ya see

Young cut frank and dirty please

More money, no harm no foul

Sex ain't free, not off the brow.

 

Am I Interrupting - Track

 

Hell no he didn't want to see that

Walking in on it

2

 

Went to get his hair cut at the local barber shop

Found out it was shut closed locked

Then he came back, tried the front door

No keys, No luck go round the back

 

Pussy on the back

3

 

Slide it open, go on in

There's your mother with come on her chin

What do you do but leave the room

Don't go back before too soon

Are you decent, are you right

Shit mother he's scarred for life

How's he ever gonna get a wife with that sordid image scrathed on his mind

 

Who Know's, Who know's

Who's to blame not me, Who's to blame not you

 

The fact of the matter is, he couldn't make her come

 

Hell no he didn't wanna see that walking in on it.

 

 

 

Barely Legal - Track

 

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm a break, I'm a break

I'm a break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break

I'm gonna break ya in

 

Barely legal anal teens

Push her down on her knees

Suck that cock, take the lot

Deep throat it bitch

 

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

 

Grab her titties, Slap her ass

Grab her titties, slap her ass

Take that dick, fuck her fast

Fuck her in a way, She won't forget

Fuck her hard, fuck her fast

Fuck her til she comes

 

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

I'm gonna break ya in

 

Fuck her hard, fuck her fast

Fuck her til she comes

I'm gonna break ya in

I'm gonna break ya in girl

 

 

For The Wings - Track

 

Going out alone, isn't what I thought my life would be

Groups of people walk on by and they stare at me

Has my life become this nightmare

Fear, panic, greed

I walk alone, out here on my own in a city I just don't know

Take me in your arms, show me the way back home

I'm too drunk to find my way

Safety pins hold up my jeans

Your the angel in my dreams

If I died tonight would you save me

If I died tonight would you care

Is this what my lifes become

So cynical I'll kill......

 

Doing it for my angel

I do as she commands

She's got time to make me bleed

With her bondage stories of hell

Feed me with the tales I need

Leave me wanting more

Doing it for my angel

You're keeping me alive

When I see your eyes I'm no longer satan's slave

Doing it for my angel

I'm doing it for the girl

Doing it for my angel

I'm going it for the girl

 

If I died tonight would you save me

If I died tonight would you care

Is this what my lifes become

So cynical I'll kill....

 

 

Coolio Von Coolson - Track

 

I drink a bottle every day

Ever since I put my dog in the grave

My bitch killed my bitch and now I'm, hitting the bottle

It's Tuesday morning, Lassie never came home

I'm a little sad but it's all right

I'm Coolio Von Coolson

I'm Coolio Von Coolson that's right

If my balls are sweaty, I'll wipe them dry

All you ladies ask me why

I'm Coolio Von Coolson yeah right

 

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson, yeah that's right

Coolio Von Coolson, yeah that's right

Who am I, Who am I

 

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

What am I, I'm Coolio

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

 

Nothing effects me, nothing tries me

Ladies they all ask me why

One two three four

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson

Coolio Von Coolson